I know that what
people say about me is instructive but not more effective than what I say by
myself to myself.
The sarcasm is more
than just poetic when I pay attention to what people say when they don’t see
the truth.
I cannot get tied
up by the negative comments people go around with about me, when I hear Taylor
swift saying to me “shake it off”. The song is really good.
“…I go on too many
dates, but I can’t make them stay”
Love has done me
wrong again!!!
“…what people say…”
has not affected me as much as what I continue to say to the man in the mirror.
I almost always know the right thing to do but I almost always find myself
failing in my responsibility to insist on doing the right thing.
If love can save
me, can it by any chance destroy everything I have been building for a while?
Is it so hard to
function correctly? Is it not the push of desire that makes passion realistic?
Why do I let my emotions lead me into familiar dangerous spots time and again?
Please why do I keep getting sadness from the happiness that consumes me?
Yes “I’ve got this
music in my mind saying it’s gonna be alright” but it is very difficult to play
the music in my mind when the darkness of failing on so many levels keep
consuming me and effectively stopping me from seeing the light that ought to
shine brighter for me.
A smile crosses my
sad face as I watch Rosita (Rees Witherspoon) and Gunter (Nick Kroll) perform
in the animation ‘Sing’. The #AnimateExpressions of musical adaptation here is
impressive. The touch of real story telling talent is undeniably sweet.
You think life is
stressing you out until you see and know what I am dealing with constantly.
Maybe not as impossible as having to respond to the needs of so many kids at a
time and still run a home effectively, but I really do have shoes that feel
like those of Buster Moon (Matthew McConaughey) the Koala who lost everything
and had nothing at a very critical point in his life. Courage, hope and “shake
it off” are words that don’t come so easy to me right now.
I really should
quit with the buts…
But if only I could
totally escape from this ‘me’, would I not be free? ‘Becoming a star’,
‘winning’, ‘dream big dreams’… the greatness in my desires don’t want me as
much as I really do want them.
Don’t tell me to
cut myself some slack because I know that life won’t give me what I deserve but
what I demand. If getting punished when I know it serves me right justifies a
vicious sequence, what do I do when all my plans to get it right just fall off
like a pack of cards?
...and she called me 'Best'
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