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I LOVE TO SING THE SONG BUT I CAN’T SHAKE IT OFF





I know that what people say about me is instructive but not more effective than what I say by myself to myself.
The sarcasm is more than just poetic when I pay attention to what people say when they don’t see the truth.

I cannot get tied up by the negative comments people go around with about me, when I hear Taylor swift saying to me “shake it off”. The song is really good.

“…I go on too many dates, but I can’t make them stay”

Love has done me wrong again!!!

 “…what people say…” has not affected me as much as what I continue to say to the man in the mirror. I almost always know the right thing to do but I almost always find myself failing in my responsibility to insist on doing the right thing.

If love can save me, can it by any chance destroy everything I have been building for a while?

Is it so hard to function correctly? Is it not the push of desire that makes passion realistic? Why do I let my emotions lead me into familiar dangerous spots time and again? Please why do I keep getting sadness from the happiness that consumes me? 

Yes “I’ve got this music in my mind saying it’s gonna be alright” but it is very difficult to play the music in my mind when the darkness of failing on so many levels keep consuming me and effectively stopping me from seeing the light that ought to shine brighter for me.


A smile crosses my sad face as I watch Rosita (Rees Witherspoon) and Gunter (Nick Kroll) perform in the animation ‘Sing’. The #AnimateExpressions of musical adaptation here is impressive. The touch of real story telling talent is undeniably sweet.
You think life is stressing you out until you see and know what I am dealing with constantly. Maybe not as impossible as having to respond to the needs of so many kids at a time and still run a home effectively, but I really do have shoes that feel like those of Buster Moon (Matthew McConaughey) the Koala who lost everything and had nothing at a very critical point in his life. Courage, hope and “shake it off” are words that don’t come so easy to me right now.

I really should quit with the buts…

But if only I could totally escape from this ‘me’, would I not be free? ‘Becoming a star’, ‘winning’, ‘dream big dreams’… the greatness in my desires don’t want me as much as I really do want them.
 
Don’t tell me to cut myself some slack because I know that life won’t give me what I deserve but what I demand. If getting punished when I know it serves me right justifies a vicious sequence, what do I do when all my plans to get it right just fall off like a pack of cards?

...and she called me 'Best'
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